I fell asleep today…
I Dreamed of you and a boy with your name
Defiantly stating that you shouldn’t be named the same, lest people get confused
In reality I didn’t want to think of you when I thought of this boy
I did not want him to be confused in my mind with the monster that you could sometimes be..
The boy sang and had a voice like an angel
When he smiled at me, you looked on with jealousy and anger in your eyes
And when I smiled at him I knew that later I would feel your wrath
I believe that this boy went on to change his name, and I swear I heard his voice and still he sings like an angel..
only he could ever confirm that…
But then I woke up, with the curious feeling that your arms were around me
Remembering that though you could be a monster, I loved you anyway.
For a brief moment I could smell your scent
And hear your voice like the whispering of wind in my ears. For a brief moment I felt love again.
Tears falling from my eyes as I realize that I am alone. That you are forever gone into the ocean.
Back to the sea, back to earth
Back to the cosmos
Only alive in that space in the darkness of my mind
The place that can take away or give memories precious and sweet or
Terrifying and heart breaking
There you wait for me.
To give these trinkets of the past, back to me piece by piece.
As many fragments there as I have cried in tears. A price that I am willing to pay to even for a brief moment feel that love again.